Follow by Email

There was an error in this gadget

Friday, May 18, 2007

Falwell Meets the Maker

I've often wondered what happens when fundamentalists die and find out that if there's a god at all, it's not some old, stern white guy who's been sitting up there cheering on one particular group of humans.

Jerry Falwell: What the.......? Where's the Lord? I want to see the Lord.
God: Welcome Jerry. You were really caught up in your illusions down there weren't you?
Falwell: What's going on? Is this some kind of test? Why you're Black as coal.....and you're a Woman.
God: Jerry. I'm everyone and everything you've ever seen down there. It's all my expression. All my poem.
Falwell: Oh Lord. You've turned into a Teletubby! This must be a bad dream. I'm not officially dead yet, am I? Is this the Purgatory chamber?
God: Jerry, we don't operate any chambers or five star hotels out here. Sorry but you didn't unpack enough stuff for this trip. You'll be going back.
Jerry: Back? But that sounds like blasphemous Buddha talk.
God: Would you like a schtickel taiglach or a bissell kishka before you go?
Jerry: Lord, are you about to tell me a Jew joke? I think I've heard them all.
God: Salam Aleikem Jerry. This time around you're going to live a very holy life. You'll be a cow in India. You'll see things
much more clearly. Chow baby!

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous8:28 PM

    While Jery appeared to lack some mercy, grace and perhaps even some humilty at times- he was a man of God- fearless and stedfast. There are lesssons we can gleen- live your life with conviction, and he did! Heaven gives every beliver their space designed by God Himself- an eternal reward- unimaginable. In fact, in every man is a supernatural thirst that only the water of Heaven fills. Blessings

    ReplyDelete
  2. barry shemaria1:34 PM

    that's pretty funny stuff, elliot.
    you should be writing jokes for another old college friend of ours, chris bliss (formerly: dickey)

    ReplyDelete